The Problems With Mixed Cultural Relationships
By Teairah Tate
Some may say “society has indeed accepted mixed cultural relationships,” but really have they come to grips that maybe a African American can marry a Jew or a Chinese can marry a Indonesian. My answer is no. Media has deceived people into thinking that mixed cultural relationships can get into a intimate relationship and live happily ever after, when if you actually read between the lines all its saying, is that this is America and we can co-exist but not intertwine. Take two similar cultures or what a person could consider similar, African Americans and Africans. First some background, African Americans is anyone of an African decent or origin meaning derived form African. Africans are people that weren’t born in America, Yet many has a citizenship here. In a different culture one would ask “well whats the difference?” And they will get slim answers similarities and a large number of differences, one being the way we go about dating and marriage.
The question is when families of different cultures leave there native land, why cant they leave there cultural beliefs behind to adapt to the American society”fully”? We have this thing called becoming Americanized and when you become Americanized you are deemed acceptable to are culture. Yet in the case of being with an African man of the igbo tribe, is highly frowned upon if they were to even be brought up in the same sentence with an American woman. My thoughts is that its extremely unfair to come to a new country and not accept the norms of being in a honest relationship of whoever you want to be with. But the problem really lies into what African American cultures display to the world. Especially the women. A lot of what is put into the media is stereotypes and biases about young black woman and it should be a crime to exploit us in that way, because of the bad reputation we get from the cultures around the world. In closing, I was in a relationship where as though my culture was unacceptable in theirs, and I winded up with a broken heart, hurt feeling and bad memories, And finally saying, that my perception of Africans will never be the same.
This blog caught my eye mainly because its headline says something about culture which i must admit, until my sociology class, i haven't given much thought about. I really expected this blog to be about the cultural differences between races of black and white, so imagine my delight when reading this and finding out that it is not!! Kudos to you Teairah Tate for opening my eyes to something that is rarely talked about. Most assume (mainly because of the color of their skin) that dark skin culture is mostly the same. But as your blog brought out, this is not true. Its a shame that even today, races are still having a problem accepting other races and NATIONALITIES.
ReplyDeleteThere is also a stigma among african american women that sadly, we have brought upon ourselves. We are not brought out in videos (which controls alot of the media) as upstanding women, righteous in our morals. Instead american women appear to be loose in conduct, gaudy, and self-absorbed! When dating however, the actual person is what should be noticed and not the long line of stigmas that haunts their race!!!!!
The problem with mixed cultural relationships got my attention because I have been in a mixed cultural relationship for eight years, and I would say that not all mixed cultural relationships end in a bad experience. In my opinion, mixed cultural relationships are healthy for society because people can learn to tolerate and respect other people’s traditions, and beliefs. Maybe this kind of relationship is not for everybody or for every culture, but in many cases they can be a wonderful experience and a cultural enrichment. With respect to whether people must leave their culture behind and take the American culture as their own, the answer is simple. Culture is learned, and we learn by observation and imitation of what our parents and teachers taught us. We also learn from the environment in which we live and grew up. This doesn’t mean that we are going to do everything that was normal in our home countries; it means that we have to keep our traditions but also learn and respect the norms of the country where we live, in this case America.
ReplyDeleteTeairah, thank you for your blog. In my opinion, marriage and relationships are hard work for any two people, even if they are from the same culture. And every relationship is different. For example, you mentioned that you had a bad experience, because “your culture was not accepted by theirs.” I agree this can put an added strain on the relationship. However, your blog’s video shows a great example of how a mixed cultural union can be a happy one. In addition, I have meet people from intercultural marriages and sometimes the union does succeed. Although, normally the family members from the different cultures may take a little longer time to finally accept the differences between the two people's ethnicities or cultures.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments you guys. I thought nobody really was going to understand my direction with this post. i always have to write about my life experiences because what better place does it come from then your own life. and i remmeber in my relationship i use to watch that video over and over wondering how do they do it and way are they so happy,and why cant i be in their shoes? and i answered all my own questions by just saying if its ment to be then it well be.
ReplyDeleteI think that mixed cultural relationships are a good thing. I never did and never will understand why some oppose its practice. I am in a mixed cultural relationship. I am Lebanese and my boyfriend of 4 years is Algerian. IN a mixed cultural relationship it gives you insight on their background and real CULTURE. It's almost as if it is a learning experience. Those people who oppose mixed relationships, through my eyes are just racist, ignorant, miserable and negligent people.
ReplyDeleteThis post really touches on how we think of ourselves as Americans- and this assumed culture of being the same- when America is actually a constant struggle with different cultures trying to be the norm. Nowhere else in the world is there such a huge mix of people and traditions in one nation and I think that a lot of confusion arises because of it. Teairah, thank you for sharing this. America is really racially divided and in a lot of ways Philly can be even more sharply divided but we get caught up in a simple black/white, male/female, rich/poor,etc, divide and it's us against them. Showing that not all people of color conceive of themselves as part of one group is very helpful in moving toward actually understanding each other and helps us deal with the challenges better. It then becomes not us against them, but "hey, who are we anyway?" kind of question that's much more constructive.
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