As parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles just family in general, we do not understand how much of a part we play in building a child's self esteem. Everyone has a need to feel wanted, to feel apart of a group, to be loved and this is very much the same for little children. Sometimes it hard for a parent to notice when they are showing favoritism to one or more of their children. This child tends to be the center of attention for everyone, the one taken every where and/or the one that get more clothes and toys. My friend has two children a little girl who is two and a little boy who is three and sometimes I feel guilty because I know I naturally am drawn towards the little girl. I realize now that this is similar to the topic of in groups and out groups and how much this can affect a childs' self esteem and how they can feel like an out group or like they do not belong.
The following picture shows how parents show their favorite child love by surprising him or her with more gifts than the other.
The following video shows a mom playing with her baby boy and when the older brother trys to get in between to hug her she pushes him away and returns her attention to the baby.
In groups and out group are not just found in school among teen, or at the workplace among co-workers, It can be found also in the home among brothers and sisters, sometimes we may not mean to show favoritism to children, but it happen and this can be classified as in groups and out groups.
I totaly relate to this article. As I mentioned in class earlier this week. I moved back home with my mom. What I didn't share is that my younger brother lives with us also. My mother treats us totally different. In fact he gets away with a lot more than I do and they also have a better relationship with each other in result I often feel like an outsider in my own home. What hurts the most is that when I comment on my feelings they both say that I shouldn't be jealous. Yet I don't see it that way. I would like to be treated equally.
ReplyDeleteI agree that parents treat their children differently, but i think it's because each child is different from each other. This is okay as long as different does not mean unfair. Sometimes the favored child needs more attention because of poor health. Instead of being mad, try to look at the condition on a brighter side. Do not let it make you think that you are unwanted. Everybody wants to be treated equally, but unfortunately favoritism happens in a lot of families.
ReplyDeleteI somewhat agree with what you're saying about parents in families tends to favorite one child more than the other, but the love for them are the same. Parents might show more attention to one of their child because of their achievement. Parents will not love one child more than the other because both children are their flesh and blood. The parents will love the children the same but, might show more attention to another that don’t mean that the other child is not important.
ReplyDeleteI agree that children who are overlooked by their parents can suffer from low self esteem. This can also cause the child to have ill feelings toward his\her siblings. Children need to know that their parents love them equally. When favoritism is shown, it causes the child to feel less loved by their parents. In order to eliminate this problem, parents should show equal love, affection and attention toward all children.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what your saying that children try to get their parents attention, no matter the cost specially when your not paying attention to them. A perfect example would be that my sister felt threaten by new baby in the family so she decided to threaten the new baby in the family. Also, I understand the favoritism part. There's always someone that the parent pays attention to the most. I hope that I wouldn't do this to my children, because it was done to me too. Favoritism is pretty much in every family, every kid will encounter this no matter what. This is where jealousy comes in.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you are saying. My father showed favortism towards me when I was little, and later when i was about 12 my brothers and sisters didn't acually like me and I didn't understand why. I found out it was because they were jealous of me. I didn't want them to be jealous of me, it caused a problem in our household.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree this can be devastating to a childs self-esteem, but having it come from their parents makes the situation even more serious. Parents must work hard to have individual relationships with each child that will meet the needs of all their children without showing favortism.
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